I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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