btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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