Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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