You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
