Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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