She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
