Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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