She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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