I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
