Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
