I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
