Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
i out mim tonsoeep
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
