I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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