He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
should my penis look like a turkey
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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