Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
