yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
