Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
