Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
