I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
