i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
