whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
