office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
