There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
