I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
