kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
