i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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