Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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