Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
