Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
