playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
