Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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