i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
