He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
