I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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