Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
