At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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