Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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