Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
