I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
