just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
