She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
