You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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