my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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