i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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