I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
