My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
