hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
