Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
