We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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