Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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