My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
