Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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