i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
