dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize