so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
