i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
