I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
