If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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